Chapter 7, There's Something About Mary

After dinner with Sharpe and Dudley - the four of us bid adieu to one another and headed our separate ways.

Once Ross and I were in the car, he let me have it. His main points?

1) “Why are you crying? This is stupid. Keep it in the pocket."

2) "I don't have time for drama - Dudley and Sharpe have all the time in the world for drama. I'm not getting pulled into this again. Do not pull me into this again."

TG for Ross.

Guys - it's super f*cking grounding to be married to a man. Just a freaking man who doesn't deal with BS. Ross wasn't going to entertain the drama - on my side or on anyone else's.

I think it's imperative to have someone that checks you when you're spiraling and can get you back on track. This is actually a reason why Sharpe and Dudley are so amusing to me…

They don't calm each other's storms - they fuel each other's fires.

& they willingly and erratically dive tandem into their outrageous tantrums together and make things so. much. worse.

We all go from that dinner and continue to be v strained friends.

In October, there was a block party going on downtown - Sharpe and Dudley were there. I decided to go meet up with them.

I get there - give Sharpe and Dudley awk hugs - then Sharpe and I veer off to the side and start talking about everything that happened (for the 87349854 time mind you).

Sharpe brings up (again) that she was scared and that's why she said all those horrible things about me. I bring up (again) I still didn't get why she was scared since we had been friends for a year and had never had any problems.

& here we go:

"But Alisha, you're not friends with half of your bridesmaids."

"Sharpe. Yes - I am."

"No.

You're not friends with Mary"

That was it guys.

That was freaking it.

I wasn't going to be told one more f*cking time by these f*cking clowns that they were justified in verbally accosting me behind my back because I'm not friends with half of my freaking bridesmaids - specifically Mary. And I snapped.

Cue the word vomit!

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHYYYYYY I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH MARY ANYMORE, SHARPE???! BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! BECAUSE I WAS PROTECTING YOUUUU!!!!!!

BECAUSE WHEN WE WENT TO VEGAS, DUDLEY CAME DOWN TO OUR ROOM AND SAID HE WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU, AND BE WITH MARY. AND THEY STILLLLLL TALK ALL THE TIME.

THAT'S WHY I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!"

I beg your pardon folks:

and all over Sharpe for that matter lol #oops

Cue a dumb-af stricken look on Sharpe's dumb face.

"Wuuu-wuuu-WUT?"

"YUP!

THEY STILL TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK AND DUDLEY WANTED TO DUMP YOU, FOR HER."

***

Let me take it back to Vegas for you all.

We had gone on a group trip to Vegas with Dudley and Sharpe about a year prior. We went and saw Chainsmokers one night - Dudley tells Sharpe he loves her for the first time #awwww.

The next morning, Ross and I are getting ready to go to Wet Republic. Dudley comes down to our room to say hey. I start chatting with him:

"You and Sharpe are cute, I really like her!"

"Yeaaaaah..........

………………………..

I wanna break up with her."

(not what I was expecting to hear, like at all lol)

"Wait what?!?!! You wanna break up with her!?? Why???"

"Yeah.…..

She's just not the same 1x1 as she is in a group. She's a lot and I don’t really like her anymore.

I want to break up with her..…

You wanna know who I've actually been talking to??"

"Who???"

“…..

Mary."

"Mary????!!!!!

As in MYYY Mary, MARY???!!!"

"Yeah! She’s so hot.

She “accidentally” snapped me pictures twice. I snapchatted her back and we've been talking ever since".

"Oh woah ok…..well.....that's cool (I guess lol, like what the hell else was I supposed to say?). I love Mary!"

Now, you all know I'm a biiiiig girl code enforcer - but I wasn't going to go run to Sharpe and blow up Dudley's spot. I had just started hanging out with her while I had known Dud for 5 years. My loyalty was to him (& my loyalty was to Mary).

***

Question for the audience:

Do you all think I should have immediately told Sharpe what Dudley had said? What would you have done?

LMK what you think in the comments.

***

I definitely felt bad for Sharpe even though I wasn’t going to tell her lol lol - because like, she looked like a TOTAL shmuck. Here she was, all smitten kitten and in lurrrv with Dud - & here he was was wanting to dump her. He literally had just told her he loved her for the first time, & the next morning he runs to us and spills his guts about wanting to break up with her for someone better.

Forever, the memory of Dudley first saying "I love you" to her, will be completely overshadowed.

That SUUUUUCKS lol.

But ultimately, it wasn’t my relationship and keeping my mouth shut for Dudley and Mary seemed like the right thing to do.

Sharpe and I continued to get closer after the Vegas trip. Dudley and Mary continued to talk behind her back.

Mary came into town the next month and we all were hanging out at Nativ. Sharpe goes home not feeling well. As soon as Sharpe leaves, Dudley immediately pulls Mary aside and lets her know he has a huge crush on her. Dudley then runs over and tells me what he told Mary.

Sharpe and I continue to become v close friends over the next couple of months.

At this point, I find it necessary to start putting distance between Mary & I. I couldn't tell Sharpe the truth without hurting Dudley - but I could try my damnedest to keep Mary away from both of them.

To Be Continued.