PEOPLE; what is up with the traffic in Colorado?! Moreover, what’s up with the drivers?! I literally can’t. Let’s just say, the road rage is very very real.

My husband and I just moved to Littleton increasing my 3 minute commute into DTC to about a 25 minute commute from hell. I know, I know that’s really not that bad lol, but I’m a big baby and I hate driving so a 25 minute commute might as well be 2.5 hours.

First off, commuters, why do a trivial 5-10 minutes makes such a HUGE difference in traffic levels?! It’s insane. Literally a measly ten minutes can change the entire course of my morning drive. If I make it out the door at 7:10 am, I can get to work by 7:30. Maybe even a little earlier. Heaven forbid I leave at 7:20 am; the office won’t be seeing me till 8.

Now, if you’re on the road in the morning anywhere from 6:30 am – 8:30 am it’s safe to say you’re probably commuting to work, no? So why on earth are you going so slow? Granted I may be one of those weirdos that enjoys my job, but even if you don’t, don’t you get to leave the office sooner if you get there faster? Incentives people! So don’t be scared to kick it up a notch or I will be in your back seat until you get over lol.

Now I’m not a reckless driver/speeder by any means, but I feel like it’s socially acceptable to go 5 over the speed limit ESPECIALLY if you’re partaking in the morning commute. It’s called going with the flow of traffic…& I’m Ricky Bobby and I wanna go fast. Shake N’ Bake people.

So do us all a favor and if you really want to go five below the speed limit, I have a well-kept secret for you. There is a magical place called the right hand lane. Go there. Live there.

Even though commuting can be incredibly stressful, you know what makes me insanely happy? Being the first person at the red light.

It makes me so happy you guys. You’re the leader of the wolf pack if you’re first in line at that red light. The open road is yours for the taking and when that light turns green, you control your accelerational destiny. No accelerational is not a word, but let’s pretend for this post’s sake.

Now, let’s talk about the sore subject of blinkers. The majority of Denver drivers just don’t use them and I don’t understand it. I mean, It’s literally right there on your steering wheel.

If you decide to change lanes blinker-less, don’t get your panties in a bunch when I lay on my horn.

This happened to me yesterday with a massive pick-up truck. First off, yes sir, you can demolish my Jeep Grand Cherokee with your hillbilly tractor lol, but if you hit me while changing lanes without your blinker, I’m taking you to the bank so don’t expect me to swerve out of the way.

So this guy starts coming over without his blinker right before a red light, so I blast him with a beep. He is able to get in front of me without a collision and then proceeds to throw up his hands and shake his fists.

I love how it’s my fault you almost hit me because you failed to use your driving signal.

So then, I’m stuck behind this guy at the red light which is SO awkward because I can see him glaring at me in his rearview mirror. When the light finally turns green, Mr. Trucky Truck man accelerates to get in the lane next to me, pulls ahead and exhausts me to high heaven. Cool bro, you really got me there lol.

THEN this guy slams on his breaks, decides to match my speed, and proceeds to drive directly next to me for two straight miles. Like are you ok? Obviously this guy wanted me to look over so he could make obscene gestures in my general direction lol but I just kept looking forward till we finally went down separate roads. Byeee sir, I’ll miss you.

Till next time!

The Road Rage is Real