I was at dinner with Ross and new acquaintances a couple of months back - back when dining in restaurants was a thing.

I MISS RESTAURANTS

However I think we all can agree that we do not miss questionable company that can join in our dinners at those restaurants.

At this particular dinner, I didn't know anyone well except for Ross. & unfortunately, Ross - who was was sitting across from me - was immediately engaged in a SUPER riveting convo about real-estate/private equity/whatever he does lol - merrrrp.

I can't engage intellectually in a discussion surrounding Ross' work so I don't even try. So, what's a girl to do?

When you're the only person who doesn't know the people that you're dining with - well - it's awkward AF. I was at the end of the table so it was either attempt to talk business tings with Ross - which wasn't going to happen - or talk to the gentleman (using the term gentleman V loosely) to my left.

I introduced myself.

He introduced himself - let's call him Finn.

& then, Finn

- being socially tactful and wildly polite (sarcasm) -

went for the jugular:

"What are you passionate about?"

....

Hermmmmm wuttttt?

I respond timidly -

"…

what?"

Finn more aggressive:

"WHAT. ARE. YOU. PASSIONATE. ABOUT."

F*CK.

What am I passionate about???!!

Like the second sentence you ask a complete stranger is what they're passionate about? Oof.

I stumbled attempting to answer Finn's question -

"Oh. Well...

…I enjoy traveling.

...I enjoy restaurants.

I also enjoy writing…

I run a Lifestyle blog."

Finn glazed over from the second I answered with traveling and restaurants lol.

& could I blame him? No. Like could I come up with a more mundane answer?

But I also could see the smugness creeping onto Finn's face while I was blundering my way through his question.

He was enjoying seeing me squirm.

It was v evident at that point that Finn had appointed himself the judge and jury of this conversation.

No matter what I said - I was f*cked.

You can't say anything to disarm someone who who is hell bent on judging you from the get go.

Finn is part of a crew who I aptly call the Patagonia Preachers. They enjoy their days in the wilderness & they think that L.L Bean Hiking boots are appropriate attire for every occasion.

Is there anything wrong with this? …not in theory lol. But I have a bone to pick with anyone who thinks someone is lesser than just because they don't have similar passions. & from what I have experienced (this situation being a prime example), Patagonia Preachers tend to be the most hypercritical (& unhappy) people in the room.....

maybe because the room is indoors lol??? Who knows.

So there I was - two f*cking minutes into this dinner - and the judge and jury had already written me off. Finn had scrutinized my answer and come to a conclusion about my entire being.

To Finn I lacked depth. To Finn I was a materialistic dolt.

Feeling wildly lesser than, I steered the convo onto Finn. What was he passionate about?

Of course, Finn seamlessly danced into the details of his solo mountain excursions and his connection with nature.

His fervor and zeal for his extracurricular activities might have been impressive in a different conversation - but I sat there hollowed.

Why?

Because there's nothing impressive about an individual who gets off by judging another for no. good. reason.

This dinner FINALLY concluded after what seemed like hours & I avoided Finn the best I could for the rest of the weekend. When we were in the same vicinity, he continued to mock me for my inability to answer his question at that dinner. #totesenjoyable

Finn's lil set-up stuck with me in the weeks to follow.

I don't enjoy being made for a fool and the fact that Finn SO enjoyed bamboozling me, pissed me off!

So I started mulling over an answer to his question.

If & when I saw this Patagonia Preacher again, I was going to come in hot with a quick witted sermon of my own.

A couple months went by and I ended up running into Finn at a pregame. He - of course - brought up my floundered attempt to answer his question yet again & was getting in another good laugh at my expense.

But we were on my turf this time - surrounded by my friends - so I looked at him and took aim:

"Ask me again."

Fin - "Ask you again?"

"Yes.

Ask me again."

Fin - "OK.

What are you passionate about Alishaaa?"

I smiled.

"I'm passionate about the four F's.

Friends

.

Family

.

Fashion

.

&

F*CK YOU Finn."

Cue howls of laughter from my crew & a welcomed somber ass response from Finn:

...

"touche."

NEVER

let a stranger judge and jury you.

Give em a good ol' reminder that this is goddamn democracy.

& they can go f*ck themselves.

The Judge & Jury